Bring Your Dog to Work Day

I officially declared today "Bring Your Dog To Work Day" and brought Willie to work with me this afternoon. It was so nice to have him there with me, he is so freaking cute! I swear I love that little dog too much. For the most part, he sat in my lap while I worked (and pet him). He seemed quite pleased with the arrangements and only barked at Dawn a few times. Other than that he was well behaved and didn't pee inside once, not once can you believe that! I asked Saraho today after meeting him if she thought he was blog worthy and she agreed! After I left work I went to the tailor and the Honda dealership and every where we went people oohed and awwed because he is that cute people! I did feel a bit Paris Hiltony bringing my dog everywhere and sort of felt compelled to tell everyone he has a brain tumor and that is why I bring him places but thought that would seem odd, so I refrained. Anyway, in cased you missed it, today was Bring Your Dog to Work Day!

Youth In Asia

Euthanasia, I think that is a funny word for choosing to kill your pet. I did my senior term paper on euthanasia and still think it seems an odd word. I do like euthanize better than put to sleep, because I put my dog to sleep every night, you know? The good news is, it seems like I won't have to make that decision soon, at least not in the next week (or two if we're lucky). Willie was officially discharged from the LSU Vet School on Wednesday with a normal checkup. I guess as normal as one can be with a brain tumor. They said that he was responding well to the steroids. No vomiting, no seizures, just the expected side effects. He does seem a bit tired lately, lots of drinking, eating, and more urination that you'd think his little body could hold. Another recent side effect is his constant licking, scratching, and fidgeting...like his skin is crawling. I forgot to mention that on Wednesday when we went for the check up and I've assumed it was a side effect of the steroids. Anyway, they said he seemed to be doing well and for additional follow up, refills, or if he has a seizure to go to our regular vet. I took that as a relief. I was told to continue with the steroids as long as he is responding to them, so that is what we will do!

Is that weird?

I've been thinking about having Willie's picture professionally taken, is that weird? By professionally, I mean at Target. They take really cute pictures and Willie is a really cute dog but I'm not sure if that is weird or if I can even bring my dog to Target. I have a real challenge getting a decent picture of him because he doesn't seem to care much for cameras so I thought maybe I could get a good shot at Target? Plus Target is affordable, who doesn't love Target? I tried to call today to see if they allow pets and the line was busy...I wonder if I should take that as a sign? I'll try again to see. I even printed a coupon from target.com for the portrait studio. I guess I'll see what can be done and I'm still wondering it that weird?

I see you baby, shakin that thang!

I was contemplating the other day how does one decide when to put your dog to sleep. I decided that when Willie stopped wagging his tail, or shakin' his thang, that we would make the decision. Brandon disagreed by saying "what if he stops wagging his tail just for one day and we put him down?" It was a good question and one that I've thought about a lot! Everyday I make a conscious effort to make Willie wag his tail and everyday that he keeps shakin' his thang, I feel happy. It is so nice to come home to a dog wagging his tail, nothing beats unconditional love! I thought that was a good measure because I assume that wagging his tail is equal to a smile on his face or a least feeling good. The other morning I think he was having a bad day because he was lying on the bed and keeping an eye on me but not picking up his head, it was quite sad. But when I came home that evening he was wagging his tail, happy to see me. I'm not sure how one decides these things, and I'm just glad I'm not to that point yet!

James Blunt, you depress me!

I feel sad when I listen to James Blunt's song "Goodbye My Lover". Have you ever heard a sadder song? If you haven't heard it, I suggest you check it out when you are feeling happy because it is a kick you while your down kind of song that should only be listened to when you're up. You know how some days you just want to be sad. I had one of those days last week and I just kept listening to that song over and over again. I realize that the song is about a woman and I just kept thinking that if I changed a few of the lyrics it could be about Willie. Especially the part about knowing his smell and being addicted to him and how I'm so hollow without him...I'm imagining that's how I feel when Willie dies and that my friends is severely depressing, is it not? So, I've decided no more James Blunt on a sad day, good idea huh?

And I'm not even Catholic!

Somehow I've managed to master feeling guilty...and I'm not even Catholic! You'd think as much guilt as I've been experiencing that I was Catholic and I'm not. Here are the things I've been feeling guilty about:

• Leaving Willie for work and not coming home until late, knowing that he is starving to death because he is on steroids.
• Asking my sister to help out with his medicine because he has to have it every 8 hours, and I'm in New Orleans all this week.
• Going on vacation and leaving him for 4 nights and 5 days (this isn't even happening until May...that is anticipated guilt!!!)
• Every time I spend a nickel I feel guilty for spending money I should be using to pay on Willie's medical bills. This one I can usually talk myself out of pretty quickly because debt is debt. My goal is to be sure I pay it off before he dies.
• Here is the one I struggle with the most! I thought the other day about what kind of new dog we would get and on top of that, picked out a new name! That's the one I feel most guilty about...for the love of Mary (I promise I'm not Catholic!) he isn't even dead yet and I'm already planning on his replacement and what to name it (by the way I've decided on another Min Pin named Anderson Cooper).

So, I'm not sure what to do. I'm guessing if I was Catholic I could go confess to a priest about it and maybe say a few Hail Marys but I'm not, so I guess I'll just have a few glasses of wine instead and that will take my mind off of it, at least for a little while!

Place your bets!

One of my coworkers told me blogging is addictive and she bets I will shortly stray from my "all about Willie all the time" policy! The thing is Willie really is all consuming these days, whether you like it or not. I"ll admit I've started to stray from my policy by posting what I'm currently reading but oh well. I'd contemplated starting a blog in the past but decided against it because after all it would be really hard to be "open and honest" on a blog. Most of the time I'd be writing about the people in my life and they probably wouldn't appreciate it much. Also, my life isn't that interesting and I'm not that passionate about much. I am however very passionate about Willie so he has made this easy! So, I'm taking bets on how long I'll keep up the blog about Willie. The only catch is, if you place a bet, I'll keep your money to help pay for Willie's vet bill!

Oh the dangers...

Oh the dangers of having a terminally ill dog when you are a hypochondriac! I'm really having a hard time with it because I'm so neurotic and have been really anxious about Willie and here are some of the reasons why:

1. This whole mild headache thing really troubles me, for starters. For those of you who know me well, how many times have I said "I've had a headache for days, maybe I have a brain tumor?" Brandon usually laughs me off, but the thing is that idea has now been reinforced for me because that is what Willie is experiencing and yes, he does in fact have a brain tumor.


2. Every time I hear the slightest noise I think Willie is having a seizure...I'm petrified of his first seizure and don't know how I'll cope!


3. Anytime Willie makes a move I have to keep an eye on him. I've been late for work a few times because when I'm getting dressed, I keep checking on him. I think he thinks I've flipped my lid because I just look at him and smile.


4. I learned yesterday that another side effect of the steroids is panting...Willie does not pant! After all, he has never spent a day without a/c...once when our a/c was out, I brought him to work with me!!! He is such the pampered pooch!


5. Oh and the most lovely is the puking...he puked in the bed yesterday. Isn't that gross! We were in bed and I'm snoozing (another reason I'm late for work) and he just pukes right there in the bed so the snoozing was over. I had to get up and change the sheets.

The good news is that I'm enjoying spending the time I have with Willie much more than before. We take for granted our loved ones on a daily basis and I'm now learning the valuable lesson that each day is a gift. I love coming home to him and seeing him so happy to see us. It is kind of funny that Willie hasn't got the memo that he is sick...it is kind of nice and I'm enjoying it while I can!

Freudian Slip

I never been much of a Freud fan and have believed that most of his psychoanalytic theory is a crap shoot, much like Willie's prognosis. After the strange dream I had the other night, I've decided to give dream analysis a second. [Dream sequence follows.]

Brandon and I are staying at a random bed and breakfast that is quite odd. The odd thing is the beds at this b&b are all in the living area of the inn. So, right there in the living room are three beds, in which Brandon and I are in one and there are two other couples (I don't know these people) in the other two beds. The inn keeper is bringing us breakfast in bed and I find myself in the bed pumping (or expressing, as Allyson prefers so she doesn't sound like a cow being milked) breast milk. It turns out the breast milk is for Willie as a form of treatment for his brain tumor.

So, of course this is when I wake up because pumping breast milk for a dog is disturbing enough to wake most people from their sleep. I got to thinking about it and decided that maybe Freud was on to something. I've been so consumed with meeting all of Willie's needs and caring for him with all I have to give that maybe my maternal instincts are kicking in. No, I'm not saying that I'm going to breast feed my dog, or that I plan on having kids anytime soon...but it does help me come to the realization that maybe I am a better caregiver than I've given myself credit for.

Brandon and I had talked when we first got married about how we weren't ready to have children and decided that Willie would mark our time line to start a family. We agreed that when Willie dies we would re-evaluate the "when are y'all gonna have children" question. We thought for sure we would have another good 4-5 years left with Willie, then the diagnosis and now this dream...what is the world coming to???

We're here to pump you up!

Willie is being treated with steroids now in hopes of reducing the edema (or swelling) in his brain. I asked the oncologist if he was in pain and she suggested that maybe he has a mild headache. When she recommended the steroid treatment, Brandon quickly replied, "Willie, you're gonna get pumped!" I can imagine how because I was once prescribed steroids and they made me mad hungry and they reportedly will have the same effect on Willie. Side effects include, excessive appetite, excessive drinking and urination. Yeah, as if he doesn't do that enough already. For those of you who don't know Willie was never properly house trained and I'm to blame. So the thought of excessive urination does not make me happy!

Nor does the thought of increased appetite because you know what that means...Willie will eat anything that doesn't eat him first and by that I mean garbage. Yes folks, Willie has already gotten into the garbage. I heard a noise in the kitchen and was totally freaked out that he was having a seizure. (Oh yeah, did I mention that would be the beginning of the end for Willie, I can hardly wait!) I run into the kitchen and he has gotten in to the garbage...left over TJ Ribs, can you blame him! Brandon asked if I fussed him...and what's the use??? If I was dying in a few months, I'd want TJ Ribs too, wouldn't you?

Oh, and did I mention that he has to be given the steroids every 8 hours!! Right now, I set the alarm to wake up at 6am to give the first dose, the second at 2pm, and the third at 10pm. This means that I have to come home from work at 2pm to give him the mid-day dose. The problem is next week I'll be in New Orleans Wednesday - Saturday so what to do about the mid-day dose? Well, as Dawn so eloquently put it, "What's the worse that could happen if he misses a dose?" True, he could die and isn't that what a brain tumor does to you anyway?!?! I'll keep you posted on how the steroids are working out for all involved parties.

I Love Tater Tots!

I love tater tots and obviously Willie does too! I dropped a tater tot on the floor at dinner last night and I instinctively fussed Willie, "No don't eat the frozen tater tot!" Then I gave it a thought, and said to myself, what harm would a tater tot do, after all he has a brain tumor for the love!!! So, I warmed up the frozen tater tot and let him have it. I figured it was the least I could do!

I briefly thought the other day about bringing Willie on vacation with us, which Brandon promptly pooh poohed. Then I got to thinking of all the things I would want to do before I died and applied it to Willie. Sue suggested I find him a girlfriend, because after all, Willie has never been laid before...could you imagine! I mean, in dog years, he is 70 years old and never been with a woman (I guess it would be appropriate to say bitch here right, a female dog!) It is funny how you don't really give things like that much thought and then when you do it is kind of interesting the things you can come up with. I'd like to eat more chocolate! So might I suggest to all of you...give it some thought. What would you like to do before you die and I challenge you to do some of those things. Peace.

Have you ever known a dog with an oncologist?!?!?

Well, now you do...meet Willie! Willie is my baby, my child, a member of the family, and could possibly be the cutest dog in the world. If you don't like Willie, it is because you have not met him, or your name is Eric. Willie was diagnosed with a brain tumor on March 31 and I've been real sad about it since then. I've even missed a few days of work, how lame is that.

People keep asking how he is doing and it is too sad to speak about so I decided to start a blog. The question I get the most is...how did you know? So, here is goes.

On the evening of Monday March 26th he was acting real weird. He was very disoriented and lethargic, pacing and bumping into things. We came to the conclusion that he had lost his vision which was upsetting to me. I brought him to the vet the next morning and was told that he may have SARDS (http://www.eyevet.info/sards.html) and was referred to an opthomologist at the LSU Vet School.

On Wednesday I brought him to see Dr. Storey at LSU and left him there for some tests. The tests showed nothing and a MRI was recommended. Because I love Willie to death and I'm made of money (right?) I agreed and on Friday of that week he had his MRI. The next day when I picked him up I was informed that he has a mengionoma which is a fancy word for a brain tumor...doesn't that sound nice! So, I was referred to an oncologist, yes that is correct, now in addition to an orthopedic and opthomolgist, my dog also has an oncologist. The oncologist didn't know much when we got there so after waiting a few hours, we were brought back to be told it ain't good...or to use her words, "this sucks" and guessing his prognosis is a "crap shoot" (I liked her!). So, we are treating him with steroids and waiting for the worst!

Thanks so much to all of you who have been so supportive and understanding as a cry at the drop of a hat and crack jokes in bad taste about taking him to the taxidermist when he dies. I appreciate it!!! Stay tuned for more...