Anger

I haven't found that much to be angry about except the fact that my dog is dead. I can say there are a few things that I'm been ruminating about and could make me mad if I spent too much time thinking about them. Since I've dedicated my days to working through the grief process I'll let you know a little about the things I'm angry about...
1. When we were leaving to take Willie to the vet, the neighbors came over to say their goodbyes. This is really sweet I realize but what I'm angry about is...apparently she had lotion or perfume on because she pet Willie on the head and all I could smell is her perfume. Willie has had a very distinct smell his whole life, it is a kind of stinky smell but it is his smell none the less. Brandon and I always said he stinks so good. So, on the way to the vets office I'm loving him and cuddling him and trying to smell him but all I can smell is the neighbors perfume and that made me angry. I wanted to smell Willie and his yummy stinky smell that I love so very much and I couldn't smell it and that made me mad!
2. After all was said and done at the vet and Brandon and I are sitting in the room holding the package that is our dead dog, I ask if they will mail me a bill and am told that I'd need to take care of it. Okay, I understand there is a fee and a cost but come on people, are you really going to make me sit here at the front counter with my dead dog in my hand so I can pay my bill?!?!? No, someone would come into the exam room and take care of the bill, apologies were offered as the policy is to take care of the bill prior to the task, blah, blah, blah. So the poor woman had to come in and give me the bill, that's when the angry really starts to rise. Not at the time of course because I was so shell shocked because Brandon is holding our dead dog, but now it really makes me angry. I remember getting in the truck and turning to Brandon and saying "you know it ought to be a crime. How do those people sleep at night charging $70 to kill your dog!"

So, anger...I'm working through it but still desperately miss my sweet stinky old man dog!